Loki Fan Girls
by MangoTango450
Summary: Two psyco chicks end up in Asgard and they're Loki's biggest fans. CRACK!
1. Chapter 1

**To: JediPrincess-1597, Who I promise many things, but always flake out due to laziness 3 Pure Crack.**

We're all just animals...

Two fangirls walked through the halls of the giant palace of Asgard. The girls didn't know how they had gotten to this strange new world, in fact, they were scared but a guard swiftly appeared and ushered them to Odin's chambers; there he told them that they could stay one night before being sent back to Midgard( ).

"Soooo, Jazz, what should we do?" A petite brown haired girl asked.

"LETS SET FIREWORKS OFF!" Jazz replied to Nadia.

Nadia looked up in thought, but a gasp from Jazz made Aid look back at her "What?" Nadia asked. "Do you see what I see?" She gasped like a fish pointing toward a tall, dark...Handsome piece of man. Nadia stared in shock and started hyperventalating. Loki, THE Loki, who tried to take over the world and destroyed NY was standing just feet away. "Oh my god, he needs to push me to a wall right now" Nadia exclaimed breathlessly. Jazz laughed like a maniac and started running toward the god (No really he was a god).

Loki looked up from his book to see two freaks staring at him like a piece of meat.

"May I help you...?" He asked dully.

"Oh my god, his voice" Jazz gasped excitedly.

"I want to make babies with you." Nadia told him seriously.

Loki looked back and forth, thinking this was some sick joke that one of the warriors three was playing on him.

"Rape me, I don't mind, unless you want me to mind, y'know if thats what you get off of" Nadia continued.

Jazz started laughing and pointed at his upper lip "Where did Wendy go?". "What?" He asked.

Nadia gently placed her hand on his cheek, and looked deep into his emerald eyes, the world seemed to stop around them and everything got quiet.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME YOU INSOLENT FOOL! I WILL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT REAL FEAR IS!" Loki exploded with rage. "Jazz, Loki and I had a moment!" Nadia gushed. "I know I saw! It was beautiful!" Jazz replied.

Loki's rage died...These were warped idiots... Why did fate do this to him? Why?

"He's being angsty!" Jazz pointed at him. "Oh my god, I'll be there for you my love~" Nadia said sugestively.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay for procrastination!**

**69**

"What...Are you doing" Loki's eye twitched in anger. Jazz and Nadia were trying to stealthily follow the Asgard God of Mischief. "I think he figured us out" Nadia whispered to Jazz from behind a pillar. "Who cares?" Jazz replied.

"I believe STALKING is a crime on Midgard" Loki said through clenched teeth.

"Bitch, please" Jazz yelled back.

"So is rape, but I'm still willing" Nadia announced.

"You disgust me" Loki facepalmed.

"Who? Me or Nadia?" Jazz asked, stumbling out from behind the pillar.

"The untasteful girl" Loki pointed at Nadia who was about to take off her shirt.

Jazz looked at Nadia.  
"Don't judge me...".

Loki teleported away from the girls like smoke. "I wish I could do that" Jazz told Nadia in wonder. "Me too, all night long..."  
"I was talking about magic"  
"Oh, me too, haha" Nadia laughed nervously.

Jazz started cracking up, and dragged Nadia along to find Thor. Once they found Thor he welcomed them warmly and kissed their hands.  
"Oh my god, he kissed my hand" Jazz gushed.  
"You can't wash it ever again now..."Nadia pointed out.  
"Ladies, I do not fully understand your banter, so please forgive me" He smiled.  
"He probably doesn't know what sixty nine means" Nadia snickered. Jazz cracked up and punched the other girl in the arm.

Thor looked down at them with confusion clear on his perfect face. "What is this...Sixty nine you speak of?".  
"Lets go asked Loki!" The two girls announced.


	3. Chapter 3

Once the three had made their way to Loki's chambers. They started playing rock paper scissors to decide the sucker to knock on his door. "Guys, not that I don't get all hot and bothered about going to 'Loki's Chambers" Nadia wiggles her eyebrows, "It's just that I'm not THAT dumb...NOSE GOES!" Jazz was quick to touch her nose, leaving a puzzled Thor to stare at the two girls. "Sorry Thor, you got to knock". Thor whined but none the less puffed out his chest like a real man should and knocked on the door. "What?" Loki's muffled voice snapped through the door. "We seek your wisdom my clever brother!" Thor exclaimed and Jazz gafawd. "No". ... We were quiet until Nadia and Jazz started pounding his door. "Oh Thor, harder!" Nadia purred and Jazz died laughing. Thor was confused so he gave the door a might band "Is that suitable young maidens?" Now both girls were laughing and wheezing on the floor, not knowing what to do, Thor partook in the laughing. The door swung open "Why, are you all bothering me?" he hissed like he was ready to scream. "What is sixty nine?" Thor asked. "A number" Was the crisp reply and his eye twitched. "A sexy number..." Nadia coughed. "Were you like a Slytherin when you were sorted...?" Jazz asked. "Oh my god, he's Snape!" Nadia yelled in disgust. "You've been wanting to shag Snape!" Jazz exclaimed at her. The two gods stared at the girls, too scared to say anything. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: BOOK IT

"Nadia, come out!" Jazz yelled against a door. Nadia had been sobbing in a closet for a good ten minutes now since she made a connection between Prince Loki and Snape. "He's so misunderstood" She hoarsely called back, her voice muffled by the grand wooden door.

Jazz sighed, and remembered that Thor was behind her. She continued to pretend to be a kind caring friend so that he would be wooed by her feminine wiles. "Honey, it's okay, come out and we'll talk about it k?" Jazz said sweetly. However Thor went to call Loki for help and Jazz glared at the door "Get your fucking ass out here"She hissed threateningly.

"Fine" Nadia opened up the door and her eyes for fucked up from crying.

Jazz stared awkwardly and Nadia demanded what was up."Nothin...". Now that things were back on track, they started plotting on how they would win the hearts of the Asgardian princes.

"I got it! First, we get a shovel then we-" Nadia was interrupted by Jazz "No.". The girls glared daggers at one another.

"I REFUSE TO HELP THOSE RUFFIANS OF GIRLS" Loki's booming semi British voice echoed through the halls. "WELL I REFUSE TO KISS SOMEONE WHO USES SUCH SAUCY LANGUAGE" Jazz yelled back and Nadia gave her two thumbs up with a goofy smile. However there was a loud bang and up the hall and a loud hunky voice called out for us to run and they soon saw Loki limping towards them with Thor hanging on to his leg with dear life. Loki's expression was malevolent so the girls booked it down the hall.

Author note: Thanks so much for all the reviews, you guys are amazing :,)


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